This was the National Championship of Craft Shopping.
As we pulled into the convention center parking lot, we saw large groups of women in chairs behind their vehicles — arriving hours before the annual holiday market opened, pounding back mimosas, hard seltzers, and white wine spritzers.
They were tailgating in preparation for the shopping extravaganza to-come. Houston’s Nutcracker Market is a once-a-year holiday shopping spectacular, with over 1600 vendors stuffed onto the floor of the massive Convention Center.
The mood was festive– jolly, even. The women were convivial, talking among each other excitedly, and openly chatting with strangers. Anybody who walked by was offered free booze as the anticipation built.
We parked next to strangers, but as is tailgating custom, immediately began sharing food and drink, and we must have hit the jackpot– as the woman next to us had prepared a “Carb-cheuterie” board in the back of her SUV– as she opened the hatch, I saw the little display pictured above of a fake reindeer, but very real croissants, mini-cinnamon rolls, and little mini-quiches.
They poured us a mimosa in a cup with the words “He Sees You When You’re Drinking” emblazoned on it (pictured below), which we bartered for coffee. The degree of preparation was immense.
We encountered groups of teacher friends, who made a spreadsheet every year about what each would bring to the tailgate. Groups who had been gathering for over 10 years for this event, and moms who only got a full-day break from their kids once a year, on this very day. It was fun that Houstonites took very seriously.
Word spread of a 6-foot Santa strapped to a truck, which I eventually found by dipping among the ‘soccer mom’ luxury SUVs. I spotted a grill that was full of tamales, and folks grilling breakfast meats, who offered me a cup of chili if I came back for lunch.
Moon described this as “Mommy Decathlon”– women who take on the bulk (if not all) of the pressure to execute a great holiday in the face of great expectations, who gear up to battle through the endurance task of entering with the goal in-mind to tackle as much as possible on their holiday to-do list.
And this holiday market literally had it ALL.
Did you want personalized Styrofoam cups? They could be yours– and were quite popular, as we saw tons of people walking around with sleeves of them. A Christmas dinosaur? They had that for sale, too.
But most importantly, they had booze to keep these dedicated women going– lots of it. From Frose– frozen rose wine, to “Loaded Lemonade” with one’s choice of tequila, whiskey, or vodka (with an option to make it a double)– these ladies were liquored up and ready to shop till they dropped.
Which was important, in case anyone wanted a sequined wine purse, a glass with a bullet passing through it reading “Don’t Tread on Me” or a customizable Christmas hat with more Christmas paraphernalia on it than you could shake a stick at.
When I saw a pillow reading “I Sleep with Dogs,” I wondered if the maker fully understood the implication of this phrase. The wine sweaters (yes, sweaters for your wine) were a crowd favorite, too. As was any clothing with sequins.
When I asked a woman in the crowd who was taking a break, “What’s your strategy for getting through all these vendors?”– she answered, “I look for anything sparkly and let that lead me”– and that was that. We saw plenty of visual evidence to support that Texans love anything with a gleam, shine, or sparkle to it.
Moon and I managed to see absolutely every vendor in the sale, taking between about 10 AM and 4 PM to complete it all. I’m happy to report that we both found some great holiday gifts in the maze of stalls, but that isn’t what the holiday is about.
Spending time with these fun, hard-charging, holiday-making women was why we’d come, and we had a fantastic time.
Posted by Sun
