Traveling in the van, I made an effort to go to cultural events that were uniquely American, even if they weren’t necessarily my cup of tea.
So when I saw a Renaissance Fair advertised in a local newspaper, and had a day to kill— I decided to go and see what it was all about. It was the “largest in Arizona” according to the billing, and boy, did that turn out to be true.
I gotta say, while I knew there were folks who adored these festivals, I hadn’t really understood the allure of Renaissance Fairs. What did one GET from donning a costume and speaking and acting in the manner of folks who centuries ago?…. I was going to try to find out.
Sure, I thought knights were cool and all, but cosplay from the time of the plague wasn’t terribly appealing to me. While there was supposed ‘chivalry,’ that wasn’t…. the greatest time to be a woman, from all reports— and there was the whole, ‘pouring all waste fluids into the street to dispose of them’ thing— though I was hoping the Renaissance Fair wouldn’t take their re-creation THAT seriously. (They didn’t, whew).
I wasn’t really sure what to expect as I pulled into the parking lot right at the opening time, but I do know I was NOT prepared for the number of cars and people that had already packed the lots and stood in long lines snaking near the gates, waiting for entry.
Here I was, a lukewarm participant in this whole venture, and I had to wait in line for about an hour just to get into the festival. I stuck with it, thinking something amazing would have to be inside— why else would these crowds have formed and queued?
At least there was plenty of people-watching all around me in line. This kept my mind thoroughly occupied. This is when I began to note that Renaissance festivals were not ONLY for people who love dressing up like it’s 1599— they’re for… anyone who likes dressing up in ANY kind of costume.
People in period costumes, like this troubadour? Check.
The entire cast of Star Wars? Check.
Buzz Lightyear? Check.
Wait a minute…
There were also goths, woodland elves, some serious Lord of the Rings cosplayers, a couple alien-looking video game characters, and even a few wayward furries.
I noted about half the people in-line were in plain street-clothing. This was my ‘free pass’— I had worried about standing out like a sore thumb without a costume, and had considered renting one. Now, I thankfully wouldn’t have to spend the money (and the time)— because based on these lines, that could have taken awhile.
Y’all. There was a Schedule of Events posted near the door— and it was multiple pages long! This was getting serious. The event that most caught my eye was “Tournaments at the King’s Arena!” (yes, it had an exclamation point after it). There would be jousting competitions— and now, I was stoked.
I entered the gates, and headed toward the arena, thinking it would be a short walk. Nope. This was more like a Renaissance CAMPUS than a festival— I passed huge performance tents, shops, restaurants (selling turkey “leggs” of course)— for some reason, they spelled “leggs” (with 2 Gs).
I paused briefly to watch some fire-eaters perform a series of tricks (wow!)— maybe Renaissance Fairs were…. cooler than I thought?
The shops were cleverly-named and ‘punny,’ and fun to browse en route. From “Squire’s Attire” to my favorite, “Twigs and Berries”— which was an emporium selling codpieces. Yes, those codpieces. Talking to the owners of the shop, they were clear the historical need to hide a man’s…. parts… was critical, given the breeches of the day did not cover that particular section of his body fully and the tunics of the fashion did not either. Thus, the codpiece.
Some of the pieces were traditional, evoking the popular designs and colors of the time period. Others were really outrageous, and purposely hilarious— including perhaps my favorite, the one that had carrots stuck to it. Perhaps the popcorn one strikes your fancy? Or the one that Spider Man is crawling up?
All of the shops were clearly horsing around a bit— not a one took themselves seriously (thank goodness, it would have been super-boring if they did). Silly signs hung about, with some shops saying they were selling “Dragon’s Teeth (Sustainably Harvested)” or “Don’t P*ss off the Fairies” and “Openers for Thy Mail”— many adopted a dialect that was more reminiscent of Monty Python than actual Renaissance times.
There were actual armorers scattered about— a chain mail store featured heavy, stylized garments that one could presumably wear right into battle. And a sword shop featured a million warnings that touching the blades of swords was in fact, dangerous. One could buy a broom, a spooky journal, a pewter mug for brews, or just about any kind of dagger one desired.
I spoke to several shop owners— and found out this particular festival overed FIFTY-ONE acres and had over 16 stages, occupying hundreds of semi-permanent buildings in its location. Huzzah! That’s a lot of ground, and thus could hold a lot of people —- it averages about 250,000 visitors each year during the 4-6 weeks it runs…. that’s a quarter of a million people, folks.
Finally, I reached the King’s Arena, and I was just in time. The competition was juuuust getting underway. The crowd was pretty amped, thanks to an excellent master of ceremonies, who— similar to at Medieval Times, was telling each section of fans who their knight would be to represent with applause.
Each knight was introduced, and came out on horseback to fanfare and pomp and circumstance. The gentlemen on horseback (see, told you it wasn’t as fun for ladies back then) carried wooden shields, and long jousting poles. These horses were strong, and their run-ups to the center were swift — this wasn’t a slow-paced-trot— but a full gallop.
And SMASH!!!! — the shields split, making satisfying sounds as the wood splintered under the weight of the joust. And of course, since this was likely highly-choreographed, no one was knocked from their horse (that would have been dramatic and exciting, though). The winners challenged the other winners as the tournament went on and the competition winnowed.
The crowd was pretty hilarious— a whole section decided to go absolutely ham, and had clearly made signs and flags for their champion. They whooped and cheered and clapped, and even stood nearly the entire time the competition unfolded: this was clearly something they looked forward to throughout the year. Ultimately, the black-and-yellow knight wasted the others, and was declared the winner.
Good for him.
The biggest lines were (surprise, surprise) for Ye Old Beer and Wine sellers, and hilariously, I waited in line behind a king (pictured below) who ordered a… Bud Light.
After the jousting, I decided to do some more people watching and snapped some of the photos of the more inventive costumes I saw. I was finally seeing how this was just good (old-fashioned) fun, dressing up not to revere the past– but to have a silly time puttering about in a themed wonderland.
My eye spotted some archery– which I was eager to try, because why not? There were little stalls set up, and targets in the near-distance. I appreciated the few reminders NOT to shoot one’s fingers off by placing them in front of the arrow (fair enough), and gave it a whirl. In twelve arrows, I got relatively close to the bull’s eye— but no dice on an actual money shot.
Wonder if I would have been more successful if I was aiming at codpieces?
I only stayed for a few hours at the fair, as it was getting warmer and a LOT more crowded— this was the kind of event that would have been a lot more fun in a group, and a costumed group at-that. But I had plenty of fun exploring on my own, and was glad to have tried something out of my comfort zone.
I learned a ton in my first adventure into a Renaissance Fair— first, any and all costumes would be welcome. Second, everyone at these is actually ‘taking the piss,’ as they say— there was really nothing serious about the festival (except maybe those sharp swords and ability to shoot off your finger while doing archery). Thirdly, I suppose I learned that Turkey “Leggs” is the proper ‘ye olde’ spelling of “Turkey Legs”– noted. Not terribly useful, but noted.
Oh, lastly I learned that Delta Airlines, who wished me a “Good Journey” on the way out– was an operating airline during the Renaissance years. Who knew?!
Posted by Sun
